I recently finished a book by an author I’m not going to name. She has a huge fan base, which obviously means her books appeal to someone, and what I have to say is just my opinion, based on my own very subjective tastes.

 

First, urban fantasy is my favorite genre right now, but paranormal romance is a very close second. A lot of what’s out there isn’t your mother’s Harlequins (not that there aren’t a few of those stashed in my closet either). Strong heroines, hard-ass baddies, heroes that can be just as much a monster as the bad guy, and problems that don’t go away with the wave of a fairy wand. They’re all there now.

 

But, unfortunately, for every good paranormal romance, there seems to be another one that takes every one of those hammered-flat clichés and runs with it. Hackneyed heroes, too-stupid-to-live heroines, bad guys that aren’t, vapid misunderstandings . . . I could go on for another ten pages. I hate that, because those clichés are what gives paranormal romance such a bad image.

 

I’ve read a previous book of this author before, and while it was cute, it really didn’t make me sit up and say, “Wow, I’m glad I just spent three days on that!” It wasn’t a bad book, just a lot of ‘meh’. I don’t have a lot of free time (as I imagine most of the world doesn’t) and really want the time I spend with my books to be special. I could be watching a Johnny Depp movie, after all.

 

I prefer my urban fantasy on the darker side. Hard questions, no easy answers, characters you love to hate, antiheroes and heroines, that’s what I enjoy. I knew this author wrote more toward the fluff side, but I do enjoy fluff from time to time. However, a book reviewer said this new series had branched to the darker side. I was interested in seeing how this author handled merging these two styles. And, I’ll admit, I was sucked in by the cover. This author has the best damned cover artists of anyone else out there. I don’t know who they are, but when my book goes up to bat, I hope the cover gods see fit to slide my book into their pile.

 

The book had an interesting, if well-trod premise. A vampire is on the loose, and other vampires have to bring him to justice before his rampage causes all of them to be discovered. The heroine and hero have to work together to stop this rampage, with all the problems one might think of when dating a creature of the night, coming to the fore.

 

I knew something was wrong when I was seventy pages in and still waiting for something to happen. I mean, the story was well written, I’ll give the author that, and that’s what kept me reading to see what would happen when things finally did pick up.

 

But they never picked up. I kept waiting for something to happen, but the character seemed to amble around with no real sense of urgency, or even concern. I know this is a paranormal romance, which means the romance takes the front seat and the mystery is the spice, but it’s hard to care about the crisis that drew these characters together when even they don’t care.

 

And that bring us to the characters themselves.

 

The Hero and Heroine were supposed to be hard-core professionals, an enforcer and a lawyer respectively, but I just couldn’t buy it. I know people goof off when they’re not on the clock, and my friends and I carried on like the characters in this book when we had our cheesecake/margarita parties in college. When I was in my late teens/early twenties. I hope law firms aren’t hiring kids that young to be lawyers these days, that’s all I can say.

 

The hunters weren’t much better. Maybe it comes from having police and law enforcement officials in the family, but I hope they take their jobs a little more seriously than the hunters in this book. For a vampire-run-amuck story, no one seemed to be concerned that, well, there was a vampire running amuck. I wasn’t very impressed with their deductive reasoning skills, either. I guessed the villain before he even made an appearance in the book. From a one-off line, I guessed it. Once again, I know that this is a romance first and foremost, but a little effort in developing the bad guy wouldn’t harm a thing.

 

That brings me to the biggest problem I had with the story itself. After two hundred and fifty pages of waiting for Hero and Heroine to face the big bad Baddie and stop the evil vampire from hurting others, it turned out that (SPOILERS for anyone who might have guessed the book I’m talking about) it was all a misunderstanding. There was no Big Bad Vampire. It was all just a misunderstanding and everyone just went home. (End SPOILERS)

 

What. The. Hell? I spend three days on this book when I should be working on MY book, and THAT’S the twist? I apologize for the caps, but that’s better than the two a.m. “What the freaking hell?” shout that rattled the pictures on my roommates’ walls. I even woke the dog.

 

Anyone keeping up with this blog has already read the post I made about Villains. You should know my feelings on this subject.

 

This just left me so unsatisfied. Every problem in the story was so simple to solve. Ultimately, there were no stakes, no real danger to anyone, and yes, of course the Hero and Heroine got to shag like bunnies. If you consider that a spoiler, you definitely need to read more. At the end, I felt like I’d been conned. The author promised something, and she didn’t deliver.

 

That’s the worst thing a writer can do. Not deliver. Like I said above, there are plenty of people who are going to love this book, and I’m obviously not the target reader. Maybe the fault lies more with me, since I picked this book knowing the author’s style, and yet still expected it to deliver the kind of story I enjoy.

 

But forget the urban fantasy part. Even as a romance, it just didn’t feel right to me. The Hero and Heroine spent all their time angsting like teenagers, not like adults. Or thousand year old vampires, in the Hero’s case. I certainly hope to God someone who’s been around the block that many times would have a little more maturity than the average horny teenage boy.

 

This one just didn’t do it for me. I felt there was so much the author ignored that could have made this a powerful story, more than a piece of fluff.

 

If nothing else, it’s inspired me to back through my own writing to make sure I’m not letting my own characters off too easy. Or letting them act like teenagers.