I survived West Virginia, and had a blast. I got to spend some time with both old and new friends, drank more than I should have, and bought more books than I’ll ever have time to read. But I couldn’t have enjoyed three days more if they’d involved a secluded beach and a cabana boy.

It’s the only vacation I’ve had this year, and between working and throwing my book at anyone who’ll read it, I think I deserved a little R&R. Although, in retrospect, all I did was work and throw my book at anyone who would read it. Hmm. Maybe I’m just not getting this whole “vacation” thing. Anyway, I spent a lot of time with a lot of nice ladies who listened to me blather on about my book, both drunk and sober, and encouraged me to write and not give up. They also gave me a few heads-ups about where to submit my manuscript, so I’ve spent the evening doing just that. And I can’t believe how much of a nervous wreck I am!

Believe it or not (and those of you who know me won’t be shocked by this at all) but public speaking doesn’t bother me. I’m a ham and and attention whore, so any time I get to be the center of attention, I adore it. But standing up in front of a group of people I don’ t know and talking about things I’m only partially informed of has nothing on licking that envelope and dropping it in the mail and waiting for an agent to respond back.

My first agent query almost ended up as a felony crime. I’d agonized over the thing for days, and finally decided to just throw it in the mail and deal with the devil as it came. My workplace has a handy mail box right outside the building on the curb, so I took my little manilla envelope full of all my hopes and dreams and shoved it into the slot. Only to freak out the moment my fingers let go and jam my arm as far as it would reach into the slot, trying to get the envelope back. Maybe I could go over it one more time! Send it to another beleaguered friend! Spell check it just once more to make sure I hadn’t forgotten a period or a semi-colon! I’d crammed my arm further than it ever should have gone, only to look up and find the mailman staring at me as if I’d lost my mind. I only made it worse, trying to explain it to him, so I sheepishly tugged out my poor bruised, mangled, and mashed arm out of the mailbox and slunk inside my workplace, where of course my coworkers had a hoot at my expense.

Why does submitting a query letter freak me out so much? I really don’t know. I think it might have something to do with the finality of it. I will admit, I’m a tweaker. I don’t write so much as I rewrite. And it doesn’t bother me to let other people read my stories because I can always go back and tweak them if I want. Sending off that letter, though, means no more tweaking, missy! It’s all bets down, no holds barred and no turning back. And let me tell you, that is scary with shark’s teeth!

So I’m going to reward my bravery with a nice hot bath now. And then back to work on the books. I have a few things I need to tweak . . .

I definitely goof off way too much. Right now, instead of writing, I’m watching Mythbusters. Specifically, I’m watching Mythbusters blow things up. I can call that research, right?

Tomorrow I’m leaving for the weekend, heading to the RAW retreat in the great state of West Virginia. The Blue Ridge mountains in early autumn are amazing. The sky is never that blue any other time of the year, and when it’s the backdrop of mountains of green trees gilt-edged with gold, its more than amazing. It’s beautiful.

The RAW retreat is actually the Reader’s Appreciation Week. Lora Leigh (an awesome writer you need to check out if you like racy supernatural erotica . . . and I do!) has invited several writers to come and sign books and hang out with their fans. It’s in a beautiful place, with fun and wonderful people, and I for one have been waiting all year for this. I’d love to tell you where it is, but I haven’t yet figured that out yet. I’m carpooling with friends, and given my previous track records with not ending up where the map tells me I’m supposed to be, I’m relegated to ballast for the backseat. Which is cool with me, actually. I can get caught up on my reading and maybe get something written. I’m looking for some good inspiration, and I’m hoping the mountains will be just that extra something that gets me going. I’ve been battling the big black demon lately, most commonly known as writer’s block, although to me it feels more like being mired in Alabama mud. I can see what I want to do, just on the other side, but I’m slogging through the middle like an upended elephant. I have a hard time battling my own inertia, and eventually I will overcome. It just means digging in deeper.

I wonder if Mythbusters could bust the myth of writer’s block? Hmmm.

I plan on uploading some pictures when I get back. I actually remembered to pack my camera this year. I hope to have lots of fun stories and embarassing anecdotes to share.

See you Monday!